Too often we hear about single moms who are having nervous breakdowns, exploiting their situation or children, and behaving badly. The media has a way of blowing things out of proportion and highlighting the worst cases. The truth is more single moms are thriving than those who aren’t.
I want to share four ways I and numerous other single moms are thriving and embracing life.
1. We areembracing our individualityrather than be stuffed into a pre-defined mold. We are snatching off society’s negative labels and customizing pretty ones of our own.
Being a carbon copy of other single mothers is rather boring so I embrace my unique personality, skill set, and talents to redefine what it means to be a solo mother.
2. We arepursuing more/better educationto lift ourselves up out of the lower class. It may be okay to start there but it’s not okay to remain there.
I decided to return to college 10 years and two children later. It was tough but my drive to make a better life for myself and my kids made every challenge worth it. That focus made it possible for me to graduate with honors and go on to work for a well-known government agency.
3. We areseeking well-rounded life experiencesindividually and with our children. Broadening our horizons through art, travel, film, and music is more attractive than rotting way in front of a television. Being narrow-minded is not an option.
Just this year I got memberships to the science and art museums. The kids and I love watching classic and the latest film then we talk about the themes or just the really funny parts. We have a high level of music appreciation beyond the latest popular tunes and rap music. It’s not uncommon to hear classical, jazz, and inspirational music coming from our speakers.
4. We arestarting our own businessesto stretch our resources rather than suffer the fate of financial destitution. We refuse to settle for handouts and government assistance. If starting a business is not our thing, we make a few extra dollars with our hobbies.
I started my first business when my daughter was two years old. Since that time I’ve done freelance resume, technical, and copy writing to make extra money.
Being a single parent is not all bad and, case by case, you will find single moms who do a really good job and others who struggle terribly. Whether they are never married, divorced, or widowed moms, they have so much to offer the world. The point is they have very real choices and the ability to thrive no matter what the circumstances are.
Dear mommy-friends, are you a single mom? What are some of the ways you thrive as a mom? Are there any misconceptions that you feel people have about single moms that you’d like to address? What is the most difficult–and the best–thing about being a single mom? What can other moms do to best support you as a single parent?
Adriel Booker is a writer, speaker, and difference-maker living Down Under with her Aussie love and littles where they lead an inner city missions community in Sydney. She writes about motherhood and parenting, miscarriage and loss, faith and spirituality, social justice, women's issues, tiny house living, creativity, homeschooling, and making the most of our everyday lives. Adriel and her family have just moved from a renovated vintage caravan (the kind of tiny house that makes you both laugh and cry!) to an old, run-down boarding house (nine bedrooms!) in the heart of Australia's biggest city, which they are renovating for their family home and ministry offices/hub. Their life certainly isn't boring and they're exceedingly grateful for it all, even though sawdust and paint seem to be recurring themes.
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