I gots me some mama badges

Today I was reading of Melissa’s adventures in NYC on Dear Baby and how she has earned a new “badge for her sash” by changing her precious little pumpkin on her lap in a restaurant bathroom. It got me thinking about what badges I’ve earned in the last six months…

1. The I-Can-Make-Dinner-While-Breast-Feeding Badge. It had been one of those days… and I was behind on absolutely everything, including making dinner for the friends that were about to come around. But when I pulled out “my breast friend” and a kitchen barstool, I found out that I do have the mommy-multi-tasking talent that I always dreamed of. {And I did it without burning down the house.}

2.The I-Can-Go-To-The-Bathroom-With-An-Infant-Strapped-To-My-Chest Badge. When my son was seven weeks old I traveled from Australia to America without my husband to show Levi off to my family. (Hubs had to work.) I did my best to limit my fluids in transit and time my bathroom breaks just right, but when it takes you four flights to get from point A to point B over a 20+ hour period, there are some things you just can’t control. Rather than pass my little babe to a stranger—or pee my pants for that matter—I strapped him up on my chest in the Moby Wrap and did what I needed to do. {Also worth mentioning here is the I-Can-Manage-Shuttle-Busses-And-Check-In-And-Security-With-A-Diaper-Bag-Stroller-And-Large-Suitcase-By-Myself-Without-Waking-My-Baby Badge. I proudly earned that one too.}

3. The I-Can-Live-Off-Of-Three-Hours-Of-Sleep Badge. Every mommy knows about this badge… but that doesn’t make it any easier to earn. I count myself among the proud who is still awake after a long time of being… awake.

4. The I-Can-Drive-My-Manual-Car-With-One-Hand-While-Holding-A-Paci-In-My-Screaming-Baby’s-Mouth-With-The-Other-Hand Badge. Do you have this one? I bet you do. I’m told this one is a precursor to earning the I-Can-Drive-With-One-Hand-While-Breaking-Up-A-Fight-In-The-Backseat Badge. {We’re not there yet.}

5. The I-Can-Interpret-Different-Colors-And-Textures-And-Consistencies-Of-Poo Badge. Black? Green? Yellow? Brown? Thin? Thick? I know what they mean and I’m a better mom for it. In fact, I would say that I am a poo expert.

6.The-I-Can-Pull-A-Song-Out-Of-Nowhere-About-Anything-At-Any-Time Badge. Songs for bath time? Songs for diaper changes? Songs for owies? Songs for washing the dishes? Songs for sleepy time? I know ‘em all… because as of six months I became a very specialized songwriter.

7.The I-Can-Beat-My-Baby-At-A-Wrestling-Match-I-Mean-Nail-Clipping-Session Badge. This one took some time to perfect, but I’ve found the perfect pin position now. {It should be noted here that this is the only time Levi gets bribed with the “secret weapon” aka the television. Works like a charm.}

8. The I’ve-Learned-How-To-Pack-Way-More-In-The-Car-For-A-Family-Vacation-Than-I-Ever-Thought-Possible-Or-Necessary Badge. Weekend camping trip. Need I say more?

9. The I-Pick-Other-Peoples-Noses-So-What Badge. This badge comes with immense satisfaction… because a crusty nose on a clean baby just doesn’t sit right with me.

10. The Do-Ya-Wanna-See-My-Boobs-Cause-I-Just-Don’t-Care-Who-Does-Anymore Badge. Truth be told, my boobs just don’t feel much different than my fabulous ankles these days. I do try to keep the girls covered though… but that’s for your sake, not mine.

Dear friends, I think I’ve actually earned a few more… but I’m gonna cut it off at ten. What mama badges have you earned that you’re most proud of?

Love,
Adriel

 

About Author

Adriel Booker is an author, speaker, and advocate based in Sydney, Australia who believes storytelling, beauty, and the grace of God will change the world. Adriel has become a trusted voice in areas of motherhood and parenting, Christian spirituality, and global women's issues. She's also known for her work with the Love A Mama Collective—serving under-resourced women in developing nations through safe birth initiatives—as well as her years spent as a Bible teacher and leadership coach. Her latest book is Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss and she's made the companion grief journal available for free. Find Adriel across all social media platforms at @adrielbooker or sign up for LoveNotes, Adriel's 'secret posts' that aren't published anywhere else online. ✌️

31 Comments

  • Hannah
    22 July 2010 at 2:14 pm

    LOL, I have a few of those myself! It is amazing how well we can multi-task as mommies!

    Reply
  • Jhen.Stark
    22 July 2010 at 2:48 pm

    AHAHAH! These made me laugh!!! Although I can't say I can make dinner and breast feed, but I can definitely hold baby while making a bottle of formula from scratch… quite the accomplishment on my part ;0)

    Way to go Adriel!!! You earned those badges well!

    Reply
  • Asashia
    22 July 2010 at 2:54 pm

    How about the I-Can-Hold-You-at 25 pounds-and-push-the-stroller-and-carry-the-bags-badge?

    Reply
  • Laura Donaldson
    22 July 2010 at 3:54 pm

    the I can differentiate between "duddy" (doggie)"ducky"(cookie)and "dahi" (daddy)and several other toddler words that sound exactly the same

    the "I proudly dance like an idiot with my children in public

    and the "I can keep a straight face while saying the most ridiculous things"

    and the ever important "I try to give other moms the benefit of the doubt when I see them doing something crazy"

    Reply
  • It's a beautiful life!
    22 July 2010 at 4:13 pm

    i can totally relate to these!! except making dinner while breasfeeding?? you are amazing. i'm impressed!

    Reply
  • lostinbend08
    22 July 2010 at 4:22 pm

    I shudder to think that I actually have the I-nursed-my-baby-while-driving-on-a-California-freeway badge!! Of course, this was 33 years ago … and I'm surprised how many of my friends with kids in the pre-carseat era have the same badge. Wow! I thought I stood alone!

    Reply
  • JIll
    22 July 2010 at 4:24 pm

    How about I can breast feed my newborn while chasing my three year old across the playground badge

    Reply
  • Chelsea Pearl
    22 July 2010 at 4:48 pm

    I-can-dance-like-a-fool-in-public-just-to-see-my screaming-baby-smile-badge.

    Looks like you have some pretty sweet badges! 🙂

    Reply
  • Amy
    22 July 2010 at 5:17 pm

    A fantastic list of badges! I did not breast feed so I have far fewer badges.

    Great job – it was fun to read and easy to get your points 🙂

    Reply
  • Angel Armogida
    22 July 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Yes, I definitely have some of those badges! Great post!

    Angel x
    High Heels & Lipgloss

    Reply
  • Livy
    22 July 2010 at 7:29 pm

    I think you deserve more than a badge for the first one. I am seriously impressed. I can barely hold Laney while I am feeding her sitting in a chair, she is so wiggly.

    Reply
  • Cameron
    22 July 2010 at 8:01 pm

    Oh wow I don't have any to add except the "I can get baby up from nap, change diaper, pack diaper bag & be out the door within 5 minutes." That one took me a couple tries to get right. haha

    I totally agree about the picking noses & using tv to get them to be still while clipping fingernails! Works like a charm!

    Reply
  • Melissa {adventuroo}
    22 July 2010 at 8:33 pm

    OMG this is hilarious! Love your blog already (new here from the SITS #31dbbb).

    Let's see, I haven't done #1 but I HAVE earned the: breastfeed-while-sitting-at-table-working-at-my-job badge. I telecommute and have the baby with me some of the time so I must multitask!

    #2 just cracks me up. I've done that as well at Target before… quite the maneuver!

    Reply
  • The Planet Pink
    22 July 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Yep, I think I've done them all! I've actually gone to the bathroom WHILE nursing before. Sometimes when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. Does that get me a double badge??

    Reply
  • HRH Mommy
    22 July 2010 at 11:01 pm

    Oh wonderful!!! This makes me laugh. My brain is fried at the moment, or I would think of a few that are (I'm sure) lingering somewhere in my memory. Will share when they re-appear in my frontal lobe.

    Reply
  • Getrealmommy
    22 July 2010 at 11:38 pm

    great post. I proudly have earned the "I-can-pretend-that-I-don't-hear-your brother-having-a-massive-temper-tantrum-and-read-you-a-story-with-a-cheerful-smile-plastered-on-my-face" badge! Hurray for me!

    Reply
  • Tori
    23 July 2010 at 1:45 am

    CUTE post! I can totally relate to some of yours. And I'd like to add the "i-can-get-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night-to-feed-you-and-be-so-zoned-out-i-barely-remember-it" badge

    Reply
  • Anna
    23 July 2010 at 2:11 am

    I earned the I-can-travel-alone-with-two-kids-while-being-8.5-months-pregnant badge.

    Reply
  • Amy Sullivan
    23 July 2010 at 3:00 am

    Number 10 cracked me up! Did you ever think you would get to that point? I certainly didn't!

    Reply
  • Amy
    23 July 2010 at 6:38 am

    I found you on Theta Mom! I have to say, I've been browsing around here and I really enjoy your posts. I've earned many badges, but I never did master many tasks while breastfeeding! Impressive!

    Reply
  • adriel, from the mommyhood memos
    23 July 2010 at 12:49 pm

    oh my gosh! these are crazy and hilarious! i just read them all out loud to my husband.

    YOU ARE MY HEROES!

    Reply
  • double jogging stroller
    23 July 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Haha… this is a badge to be proud of:

    5. The I-Can-Interpret-Different-Colors-And-Textures-And-Consistencies-Of-Poo Badge. Black? Green? Yellow? Brown? Thin? Thick? I know what they mean and I’m a better mom for it. In fact, I would say that I am a poo expert.

    Being a poo expert comes with the territory.

    Reply
  • Liz
    23 July 2010 at 1:57 pm

    The changing diaper in your lap one reminded me of earning a poopy diaper change on an airplane once! 🙂

    And surviving peeing in a public restroom with a toddler in your arms is probably what I'm most proud of.

    Well, until the time I had to cut Kate out of her clothes – literally – because she had puke and diarrhea covering her from head to toe.

    Reply
  • A Little R&R
    24 July 2010 at 5:45 am

    I am so loving all of these – and relate to most of them. 🙂 Especially the last one.

    Reply
  • Vallimasoos
    24 July 2010 at 6:09 am

    I just recently earned the "I CAN NURSE MY BABY IN THE CAR BY LEANING OVER HER CAR SEAT AND PLOPPING MY BOOB IN HER MOUTH…WHILE WAVING AT PASSING CARS" BADGE!

    Luckily…hubby was driving!

    Following from NFF!

    Reply
  • Emily @ Finding My Aloha
    24 July 2010 at 8:11 am

    This is hilarious…only because its so true! I hear ya on the travelling bit…my son is 19 months old and he has been to 15 states and 2 countries with many return visits as well. Whew!

    Love your blog! Im a follower! Thanks for visiting my blog earlier and leaving me a note! Who'da thought a few years ago I would be diapering wine? Essh!

    Reply
  • Alana Morales, Author Domestically Challenged
    24 July 2010 at 3:22 pm

    Oh, man, so funny! My favorite is #4, which by the way, is completely true!

    Take care!

    Reply
  • xoxo
    26 July 2010 at 2:57 am

    LOL – this was a fantastic read. I never thought of them as badges before…but yet, I have most of those. fun fun!

    Reply
  • Melissa (Confessions of a Dr. Mom)
    26 July 2010 at 9:01 pm

    This list is so funny, and so true! Glad I found it thanks to Nirvana Mamma! Isn't it funny the things we do w/ our babies? Bring on those badges:) The holding the paci in baby's mouth while driving…all of them actually are spot on!

    Reply
  • Amy
    29 July 2010 at 5:48 am

    This is so great! My "baby" is 4 now. I need to think about the preschooler badges I have earned…

    Reply
  • tanja
    9 November 2011 at 8:21 am

    I-went-a-whole-day-without-brushing-my-hair-or-taking-a-shower-cuz-my-month-old-twins-required-all-my-time. proud of it too!

    Reply

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