Life at full throttle
How hardship and blessing are often intermixed… and the fact that I’m okay with that.
I have the next two hours completely to myself. It’s our last day of vacation and Ryan and Levi have hired a bike with a baby seat while I’ve found a quaint little bookshop café. Here I sit with a beautiful decaf coffee, my trusty little macbook, and holiday-goers strolling by as the sun begins to sink. My feet are sandy, my hair is windswept, and my shoulders tanned.
Life feels good in this moment and I’m in no rush for tomorrow to come.
I’ve been longing for some uninterrupted time to write lately, and now that I have it, all I really want to do it sit here and listen to the clank of silverware in the background while watching people wander through this little seaside holiday town.
But it feels good to write too.
These last few weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. Finding out about the baby’s condition (potential condition) has taken a toll on my mind and body. It’s been exhausting and overwhelming. And yet at the same time I can also say that I’ve found a peace amidst the chaos.
There’s a strange comfort in knowing that although the world might be crashing in around you, there are people there that know and love and continue to be there through it all.
My husband has been rock-steady. My boy has been adorable and easy. Friends have prayed. Parents have listened. Even strangers have encouraged. Most of all, God has felt near.
It’s been good, really good.
And I know that no matter what happens, this little baby boy is loved. He is wanted. He is longed for. And so am I – I am loved, cared for, supported, and affirmed.
And that, my friends, feels amazing.
We will get through this and be stronger for it. But hopefully we will not only be stronger, we will be more grateful, more aware, more compassionate, more trusting, and more tenderhearted.
Life has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it. But God also has a way of providing blessings where they are least expected.
For us, one of those blessings has come in the form of a little holiday at the beach with some sun, some sand, and a few ice cream cones.
Dear friends, have you been in a season of hardship or a season of blessing? Or perhaps you’ve been experiencing both?
Glad for life at full throttle,
P.S. I wrote this post a week ago… and then in the midst of all of our movement (not to mention my entire household getting a nasty, violent stomach bug for the last few days) I forgot to actually post it. We’re well and truly home from our holiday now. I need to now say thank you for your incredible response to my last gut-wrenching post. Your comments and emails have caused me to feel humbled, blessed, loved, encouraged, and filled with all things good. (If you missed it, I shared the news that our baby may have Down Syndrome. You can read my story here.) We had our appointment with the specialist today and it went very well. I will try to write about it within the next day or two, but until then know that we are feeling positive. The summary is: he’s given us a 1 in 50 chance that baby has DS (which we’re counting as a very good thing at this point!) and two of the three markers that baby had last month have now disappeared. Power of prayer? Only God knows… But I have my suspicions. Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart. I have much more to share… but not tonight. I’m still recovering from hovering over the toilet and hanging on for dear life. (TMI?)