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Mother’s Day for those who have lost or are longing

35 Comments

 

For me, Mothers Day is sweet. But for many, I know it is bittersweet.

For mamas who have lost a child – born or unborn…

For women who have yearned for a child and have been unable to conceive…

For single women who long to be married and start a family yet remain waiting…

For those wanting to adopt who haven’t yet been able to see that dream become reality…

For those who needed to let someone else care for their child and had to say goodbye…

For single moms of young kids who are too young to know how to appreciate mommy as she deserves…

For moms serving in the military who are deployed and far away from their babies…

For moms of teenagers who have pushed away from them…

{And}

For those who never knew their mother…

For those who have had a mother walk out on them…

For those who had a mother who was there but not there

For those who have lost a mother…

For those who have lost a grandmother…

For those who have lost a mother-figure…

To you all of you, I want to say Happy Mothers Day as well.

May you be comforted in your loss or in your longing. May your eyes be opened to those you have “mothered” through your love and care and nurturing, whether you have children of your own or not. And may you be filled with sweet memories of the special women in your own life who are as mothers to you, even if your own is gone.

Mothers Day is not just a day for moms; it’s a day for women.

Mothers and mother figures everywhere are deserving of our honor. You are appreciated… and I sincerely hope there’s someone in your life to help you know it.

I want your Mothers Day to be sweet as well. Because you make our future, and our children’s future, better.

Little hands applaud you:

Dear friends, have you ever thought about mamas and women who are hurting on Mothers Day? Newsflash: not all are getting pampered with breakfast in bed and a day of no chores. How can you reach out to one today?

In support of women everywhere…
love,
A


35 Comments

  • Reply Eleanor Alexander 8 May 2011 at 2:35 pm

    That's a really beautiful post Adriel

  • Reply alison 8 May 2011 at 5:42 pm

    it's funny that i am reading this post right now because it's what i've been thinking about all day today. it's also what our pastor spoke about in his sermon. he knows from personal experience since he and his wife were never able to have children. i think that we should always be aware and sensitive to the feelings of others in all situations. my prayer is that all women will feel honored and blessed today…not just the mommies!

  • Reply Anonymous 8 May 2011 at 10:17 pm

    i recognize that photo!! good message, Adriel. thank you.

    • Reply Linda 16 August 2016 at 10:19 am

      If Mothers Day is so hurtful, they should ban it completely!

  • Reply JIll 9 May 2011 at 12:58 am

    Oh, Adriel this was perfect. I have a college roommate that has recently lost her unborn child. I was not sure how to address today being mother's day. Your post was perfect, infact I forward it to her with my happy mother's day wish. I was still uncertain how it would be taken, and I was really relived to find out that she was very greatful for my wish and it has opened the door for others to wish her a happy Mother's Day. I hope that it will help her in her healing. Thank you so much for this post.

  • Reply Getrealmommy 9 May 2011 at 3:13 am

    I have a friend who after many, many years of fertility treatments had her final round of invitro fail this weekend. Heartbreaking. So many women struggle with infertility, or never have their dreams of motherhood realized. I myself went through some infertility issues, and I am always very open to speak about them. I think we need to make it less of a taboo topic. These women deserve to be honored as well!

  • Reply Adriel (The Mommyhood Memos) 9 May 2011 at 12:26 pm

    Thank you for your comments and emails. It's reinforced from the pageview (high) to comment (low) ratio that this is a very sensitive subject. If you prefer to email me privately with your response or feedback, I can be reached at themommyhoodmemos @ gmail . com

  • Reply rachael 9 May 2011 at 6:41 pm

    I had a young child ask me on Mother's Day several years ago if I was a mom. My answer: "Yes, I just haven't had my kids yet."

  • Reply ababynanny.com 10 May 2011 at 1:23 am

    Wow, you are so amazing. I almost teared up… I had a mom who was there but not there… and I lost it a bit on Sunday with the whole wanting to be married and a mom but still waiting thing… but I was blessed to feel so close to God and know that I'm SO lucky…

  • Reply LoveLife 11 May 2011 at 8:56 pm

    Such a great post… Thank you for talking about this! I've spent 4 years as a Mommy. The first year, I was so overwhelmed I barely paid attention to my own mother, the second year was better, I remembered to honour her and got some special treatment myself too, the third Mother's Day was a complete blur with a newborn in the house, and this year I had a lovely day and found my own mother a special gift. But some of these other people you talk about in your post were with me in my thoughts, and I didn't really know how to navigate 'Mother's Day' with them. Your post has showed me a way I might share the day with anyone, even those who we are afraid of hurting by shining a light on their struggles or sadness. Of course, it needs to be approached delicately and with sensitivity, but I think avoiding it (as I did with my neighbour…who delivered my baby but never had children herself, and my friend, whose mother died young) is far more awkward.

  • Reply holy flippin moly. it sure was a wild ride. « The Mommyhood Memos 30 December 2011 at 1:12 pm

    […] in honor of Mothers Day, and knowing that it’s not always a happy day, I wrote a post for women who have lost or are longing. And finally, based on my experience as a “single mom” for the month, I wrote about 10 […]

  • Reply Alison 13 May 2012 at 8:11 pm

    Hi, I googled “mothers day to those who have lost” and I found this page. Such a fitting post as I know so many who have lost children & mothers over the last few years.
    2012 – a year on your post still being read! :)

    • Reply Adriel Booker 14 May 2012 at 11:04 pm

      oh, thanks for letting me know alison. it’s hard. i’m glad this post is still encouraging a few women, even a year later. happy mama’s day to you. xo
      Adriel Booker recently posted..i’m a mom. and i am perfect.My Profile

  • Reply Agnieszka J. 12 May 2013 at 4:05 pm

    Hello Adriel,

    This is not a comment, it’s a request and I’m hoping you’ll say “yes” to it. I would like to ask for your permission to share for Mother’s day “To you all of you, I want to say Happy Mothers Day as well.”
    What you wrote is really beautiful.

    Thank you,
    Agnieszka J.

  • Reply Happy Mother's Day to you, "perfect" mom. (Yeah, that's you.) 12 May 2013 at 7:59 pm

    […] for those who find Mother’s Day difficult, I wrote this letter for you: Mother’s Day for those who have lost or are longing. Please know that we remember you and believe you deserve to be celebrated, […]

  • Reply Judith 13 May 2013 at 1:44 am

    I found this perfect page after searching for “mother’s day for women who almost were mothers. Thank you so much. I hope you don’t mind that I posted the link to this page on facebook. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Adriel.

    • Reply Adriel 15 July 2013 at 3:09 pm

      I Judith, I’m so glad you found something in my words and sentiments that you found helpful. Bless you, dear one! x
      Adriel recently posted..Grace like Scarlett My Profile

  • Reply Mer 12 June 2014 at 4:24 pm

    I’d like to adapt this for a meditation for a Father’s Day I’m planning. Would that be alright? If so how would you like it to be credited?

    • Reply Adriel 12 June 2014 at 5:45 pm

      What a beautiful idea Mer! And thank you for asking.

      Will it be an oral presentation or something you’d like to post online?

      • Reply Mer 12 June 2014 at 6:01 pm

        It will be an oral presentation during a church service, but I could email the adaptation to you if you’d like.

        • Reply Adriel 12 June 2014 at 8:10 pm

          Sounds great. I’m happy for you to just say you modified your meditation from a blog post written by Adriel Booker. That’s absolutely enough! :)

          And yes, I’d love to see the adaptation you make – not because I want to “approve” it by any means, but because I think I’d be inspired by it! Sounds wonderful. Thanks Mer. Have a beautiful service!

  • Reply Leslie 14 April 2015 at 9:52 am

    Beautifully said~

  • Reply Karen 6 March 2016 at 7:53 pm

    Thank you for writing this

  • Reply Kelly 23 April 2016 at 5:57 am

    I would also add stepmoms to the list. They do all the work of a mom, but don’t get to spend mother’s day with the child and get none of the appreciation.

    • Reply Adriel Booker 23 April 2016 at 12:05 pm

      Thanks Kelly, absolutely! Appreciate your insight.

      Not sure if you’re a stepmom or not, but if so I hope your husband/partner does something this year Mother’s Day to help the kids recognize your contribution to their life. Maybe a friend of yours has the type of relationship where they can drop a subtle hint to him??

  • Reply Helen Carter 7 May 2016 at 12:36 am

    I hope you don’t mind I have taken this and posted it on my Facebook page. I have given you credit. If you do I will remove it but it speaks to so many women within my church who will be suffering this Mother’s day. My mother has been passed now for over 22 years and I still feel the lose each and every day. Many of the women in our church not only have lost mothers but have either never married or have remained childless after many years of attempting to conceive. Some have even lost babies. Thank you for this beautiful expression of love and understanding.

    • Reply Adriel Booker 9 May 2016 at 10:30 am

      Of course Helen. Thank you for your heart and concern to others. I hope this little piece can be an encouragement to those in your circle that may head into Mother’s Day with mixed emotions. May God bless you.

  • Reply Rojo99 7 May 2016 at 2:55 am

    Mother’s day is a day for anyone who has filled that void in a child’s life! Stop making women and men feel like you must be 21 to 30 to enjoy this great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply Rubin 8 May 2016 at 11:01 am

    The post for Mother’s Day for those who have lost or longing is beautiful.
    Thank you.

  • Reply Rick Patterson 9 May 2016 at 12:31 am

    Beautiful and touching – I posted this on my Facebook page, along with a link to your website. I’ve been feeling for all of those you mentioned there, and have seen them post sad messages on their timelines. I hope this makes their day a little better.

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