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A story from the trenches (Because you don’t need an ‘expert’ when you’re suffering)

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When you are suffering you don’t need an expert. You certainly don’t need false promises that XYZ will make things better. You just need a companion. And you need hope.

 

Two days after my first miscarriage I had the distinct thought: Someday I will write a book about this called Grace Like Scarlett. Though I knew in my gut this was true, I honestly didn’t want to write it until much later in my life when things felt “easier” and when I could tie all the hard stuff up with a pretty little bow and title it “resolved.”

I also didn’t want to become known as ‘the miscarriage lady’—there is more to my story and my life than the heartache I’ve experienced. What I didn’t realize then was that it doesn’t matter if people think I’m the miscarriage lady. What matters most is that I know I’m the ‘hope lady’—the one who gets to help point people back to a good God who loves us fiercely and is often misunderstood as we filter our perceptions of him through our worst days. As much as I want to help people know they aren’t alone when grieving a miscarriage or other type of pregnancy loss (or any type of pain or suffering), what I really want is to help expose the goodness of God in the midst of it. This is the whole point.

Although I wanted to hold off on writing Grace Like Scarlett until after I had already established myself as an author writing into other issues, I continually sensed this nudge from the Lord: “No, this is the time—write from the trenches.” I needed to be willing to lead with brokenness and hope.

And so I did.

The fact that this book releases in five weeks is a miracle—an actual miracle.

I wrote Grace Like Scarlett through three miscarriages on three continents and then during my extremely difficult pregnancy (after miscarriage) with our son, Micah, who was born at 41 weeks and a million pounds strong (and then the hazy, sleepless newborn days that followed). I wrote it through an interstate move and an international move, and while living in a 95 square foot caravan with my husband and two kids, then living with my in-laws, and then while moving into a massive old boarding house that was falling apart at the seams and needed a year of renovations. I wrote it through moving to a new city with zero support system, pioneering a new ministry from the ground up, having the worst financial pressures of my life, and having more stress in our world than I ever thought possible.

You guys, I realize it’s a bit cliché to say I wrote Grace Like Scarlett from the trenches, but the most honest thing I can say is that I really did. Like, way down at the bottom of them. (I’m still somewhere in those same trenches now.)

Why am I telling you this?

I don’t want you to feel sorry for me or be impressed by me. I’m telling you some of the back story because writing while in the middle of my real, ridiculous life—hard stuff and all—is exactly why I’m so confident this book will help people.

When you are suffering you don’t need an expert. You certainly don’t need false promises that XYZ will make things better. You just need a companion. And you need hope. That’s what Grace Like Scarlett is. Every single word in this book was hard-fought for and I believe with all my heart it will help people. I wish someone could have handed it to me when I needed it most. It’s a good work and I’m humbled and proud to be releasing it into the world soon.

I have zero weirdness about promoting this book or asking you to buy or read it because I am convinced what I’ve captured on these pages will help you see God’s goodness, which is what we need most when we’re in the midst of any type of suffering.

“Adriel Booker is an experienced and empathetic guide, leading us through the raw valleys of love and loss with a keen eye toward truth, hope, and the enduring compassion of Jesus. As she shares the depths of her own story, she unearths the beauty that is so often hiding in the most difficult seasons. Her book is a treasure for every person struggling to see Jesus in the shadows of sorrow.”  —Bo Stern, pastor and author of Beautiful Battlefields

“In Grace Like Scarlett, Adriel does the hard work of excavating her experience of excruciating loss. Her words keep perfect balance as they dance along edges—grief on one side, joy on the other—never falling into despair or the platitudes of easy faith. Unflinchingly honest, unquestionably authentic, and unashamedly human, Grace Like Scarlett is a must-read for anyone who has or will endure suffering—which is to say, all of us.” —Seth Haines, author of Coming Clean: A Story of Faith 

If you’ve already pre-ordered, thank you. I haven’t even shared about the bonus gifts you get for pre-ordering, but I have worked really hard to put together some resources I am THRILLED to give away because I deeply believe they will help people. (More about these below!)

Support a friend after miscarriage

Even if you haven’t experienced pregnancy loss, would you please consider buying a copy for a friend? We have purposefully planned for a May 1st release date so that you can have a thoughtful gift to give a friend during an extremely sensitive holiday (Mother’s Day). Or perhaps you’d like to buy one to have on hand to give someone when the need arises? (Because unfortunately it will. Sadly, 1 in 4 pregnancies end of miscarriage.)

“This powerful book is more than a book. It’s a permission slip to feel what you need to feel. I’ve walked with several friends through their own miscarriages, and I have always wished that there was more that I could offer, do, or say. Grace Like Scarlett is ‘the more.’ This book is a wise and compassionate companion for moms who are grieving the child they never got to hold.” —Jennifer Dukes Lee, author of The Happiness Dare and Love Idol

“Adriel writes with the authority of one who has endured suffering. She is a gifted teacher and a brave leader into the darker realms of faith. As she discusses the transformation that grief brings into our lives, she also acknowledges and then shoos away blame, comparison, false guilt, shame, and isolation. Though it’s been years since I’ve experienced miscarriage, this book helped me remember and even shined a light into other areas of suffering that I hardly know how to address.” —Amber C. Haines, author of Wild in the Hollow, from the foreword

And now for the newsy bit. I’ve got a couple of exciting things to share… because everybody likes free stuff…

 

 

Free bonuses when you order Grace Like Scarlett before May 1st:

  • Journaling Our Scarlett Stories: Journal Prompts for Processing Grief after Miscarriage and Loss (This journaling guide will help you write your entire story, which is one of the most powerful ways to process your grief. I’m convinced that stories have the power to change us—have you let yours change you yet?)
  • Scriptures for Grieving with Hope (Seven custom-designed coloring pages for hopeful reflection.)
  • Grace for Grieving Moms: An Audio Series for Navigating Milestones after Miscarriage (Each episode can be downloaded so you can listen during the specific time you need it.) Episodes include: 1. For the Day Your Period Returns; 2. For Your Original Due Date; 3. For Mother’s Day; 4. For Your Baby’s Birthday or Anniversary; 5. For When You’re Invited to a Baby Shower; 6. For Special Occasions and Holidays; 7. For Post-Miscarriage Pregnancy

To claim your preorder bonuses, fill out your details here.

100 free copies of Grace Like Scarlett

And in closing, here is my Oprah moment: You get a free book! And you get a free book! And YOU get a free book!

My publisher is giving away 100 free advance copies to those who would like to have an advance reading and join me in spreading hope surrounding this type of loss. You don’t have to have experienced pregnancy loss to join in the 100 but you do need to have a heart and desire to help your friends who have. If this sounds like you, you can find out more and apply here.

XO,
A.

p.s. Think you might be a writer too? These are for you: On Becoming a Writer (Part I) and On Becoming a Writer (Part II & III). FYI, Part I is a little more about my journey to publishing and how writing was a revolution for me (especially in my earliest days blogging), and Part II & III is encouragement and resources for writers.

 

Featured photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

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