Hi friends. Let’s just be really honest here.
I’ve not known how to pick up where I left off.
I got slammed. Slammed with busy (not proud of that). Slammed with sick (not fond of that). And slammed with letting the all of the urgent overtake some of the important (I totally know better than that).
It’s hard to even remember the last time I wrote. Well, technically I remember… but it feels like a small lifetime ago.
That’s how much I miss this space. (And my other space.) That’s how much I need words spoken and written and filling my eyes in order to keep my heart ticking over and my mind making sense.
But life caught me off guard this last little while. And I decided that it was okay – there’s grace. (Always grace.)
I’ve not known how to jump back in – what to say, how to begin – but I suppose even that was a stalling tool to make excuses for my own disappointment. I’m disappointed. Truly. And the main reason is: I don’t like to be passive while life just happens to me, but I think somehow I slipped into that vortex of this-is-out-of-my-control-so-why-bother.
(It’s ugly in there folks.)
Buried deep in my busy has been a longing and a cry to breathe, to have margin, to create, to slow down, to be intentional. And mixed into all of that are my questions about this space – the blog that I love with the name that I loathe. (Any suggestions for a new name that doesn’t include the word “mommy”? I’m totally stumped, but bordering on desperate to change it.)
How will I use this space – The Memos? Does it need to evolve? Focus? Broaden? Go deeper? Grow up? Lighten up? Speed up? Slow down??
I’m not sure.
But I feel like the whole thing needs a bit of a revamp. Maybe it’s just the amazing new headshots that my friend took of me while we were at home in America. (I probably won’t be using that first one as my new twitter mug… but you never know.) I feel like the whole blog needs an upgrade to match her caliber work:
(Doesn’t she make me look so good? Thank you Tiffany. I’m seriously grateful.)
But I do know this – I write because I need to and I want to. And I even believe I’m “meant” to.
And my story – like yours – is one that needs to be heard because it’s a part of something bigger.
Friends, tell me, what would you like to see in this space? What do you think I need to know about this space? What do you want and wish to read here? Why do you come back? I’ve been mulling over this for long enough. Now it’s time for me to include your input. It’s time for me to move forward.