The making of a perfect mom, and being “mom enough”.
It’s my third Mothers Day as a mom.
In the great big scope of life, I’m still a total newbie.
These boys that are so funny and strong and clever and wild and adorable… I sometimes find it hard to imagine that they came from my own womb.
Sometimes, you know, I still feel like a girl.
Who would trust me to be the owie-kisser-night-comforter-memory-keeper-tradition-maker-menu-planner-stroller-pusher-baby-wearer-tower-builder-tear-wiper…
I still have moments (though less and less entire days) when I don’t feel like I’m “mom enough”.
But mostly, I know that I’m enough. That I’m best. That although I’m not perfect in my ways, I am perfect for my boys and no one could be more perfectly-suited to be their mom.
Before I had children I’d sometimes look at moms and feel sorry for them, thinking they had lost themselves in their children. (Where had their old selves gone?)
And now I realize that motherhood changes you, and it should.
I’m not that same girl I was three years ago. Nor do I want to be.
I see the world so differently now – at times through the eyes of two small boys – but mostly through the eyes of their biggest admirer and cheerleader.
And I see myself so differently now too – my weaknesses are more obvious and my strengths are more pronounced.
My contribution to the world—even in “just” being their mom—is amazing. (And yet, I know it goes beyond that as well.)
It’s in making peace with the growing that I come to realize that yes, indeed, I am “mom enough”.
The media will always sensationalize, stir, and inflame debate. (You all know what I’m talking about here – TIME’s latest on the “mommy wars” and attachment parenting with the blonde bombshell breastfeeding her three-year-old on the cover.)
Regardless of the “wars” and varying parenting styles and all the rest of it…
I’m glad for this little media frenzy.
Not glad that it might incite debate and comparison for some—let’s not be fooled here—but because look at the countless moms rising up in response to say:
I. am. mom. enough.
And you are.
Sometimes it’s in being challenged in our ideals that we actually find the conviction to stand for truth.
My hope is that this Mother’s Day women all over the world will be making their own declarations:
I. am. mom. enough.
And that we’ll really believe it.
We need to believe it.
For our own sake, for our children, and for the generations that are held within our children. We must believe.
I’ve been so focused on other moms this year (hello, we are approaching 3500 clean birth kits donated – wowzers), that I was glad to have the media uproar as a reminder to not let Mothers Day pass without reflecting on my own mamahood.
So tonight as I prepare for bed after a day full of my lovelies and food, food, and more food (my husband’s love-language, no doubt), I go to bed with a full heart knowing that:
Dear friends, happy Mothers Day for those of you who are mamas. You are so “mom enough.” And for those of you who aren’t moms, happy day to you too.
P.S. Thank you to my Levi for making me a mom. And thank you to my Judah for helping him make me the mom I am today. Love you littles. So much.
P.P.S. My Mother Letter has been featured at (in)courage this weekend – Will you remember? This one is for those of you with aching hearts this Mothers Day. We remember you, too. x
Krystle14 May 2012 at 1:51 am
Mmm…such good truth here. I often think “what in the world am I doing with these children, and why on earth am I their Mom!?” Nobody else should be though, and I’m a newbie too (this is my 4th) and have so much to learn.
The hype is all media, it seems to me, from all the articles and blogs I’ve read in response to the latest “mommy wars” we are all saying the same thing! It’s okay to have different views on how to raise our kids and that we all only want the best. I think this could very well shatter any pre-conceived notion that it’s a competition. Thank goodness for that, because while I’m competitive at board games and volleyball, I only want to care for my kids and not care for what others think of my parenting.
You just have a way with words my friend. Again, Happy Mother’s Day!
Adriel Booker14 May 2012 at 4:01 pm
Yes, I do believe moms are saying the same thing in response – we are “enough” – and that’s why I can see the good in all of this media madness. Moms need to verbalize those positive truths!!
Adriel Booker recently posted..breastfeeding is a big deal: normalizing what’s already normal
Bella15 May 2012 at 1:09 am
Great post! I am mom enough. Sometimes I don’t feel it, but I know I am! Happy Mother’s Day!
Bella recently posted..Mapping Parenthood…