This is not a rant. This is not a protest. But this is a call to moms to make breastfeeding a big deal.
Dear mamas and mamas-to-be,
I realize that not all of you breastfeed your babies and I’m okay with that. Truly.
Some of you have tried and circumstances have gotten in your way.
Some of you feel guilty and some of you feel proud.
Some of you have angst and some of you indifference.
Some of you have breastfed for weeks and some for years.
Some of you simply choose not to.
But wherever you stand on the issue, no doubt your heart is for your babies… and no doubt your heart is for other mamas too.
So we need to do something together.
We need to make breastfeeding a big deal again.
You see, somewhere along the way it became controversial. Somewhere along the way it became indecent. Somewhere along the way it became hush hush… very personal.
And it is personal…
But it’s also not.
Around half a million babies are born every day. And those babies? They need to eat.
And those mamas to those babies? They’ve been given exactly what they need to feed their babies.
So why have we let breastfeeding become a word that needs to be whispered? (Or maybe just “translated” to nursing?)
Why is it that there are campaigns running to (re)educate people on the benefits of breastfeeding?
Why is it that there are lawsuits in relation to breastfeeding in public?
Why is it that the television and movies we watch every day rarely include this normal part of daily life?
And why is it that we have to form clubs just so that we can feel comfortable with our choices? (P.S. I’m not a fan.)
The answer? Because we’ve had to.
What happened to breastfeeding being normal?
Somewhere along the way the “normal” has been lost.
Somewhere along the way the “necessary” has been swept aside.
I’m more than aware that some women aren’t able to breastfeed. We are not to gang up on them or make them feel inferior. (That helps no one, gets us nowhere.) Many of them have struggled to reconcile this sensitive issue within themselves as it is and we need to support those mamas too. (This beautiful account from one mom will probably make you cry.)
But the vast majority of women are able to breastfeed, so why aren’t we making a bigger effort to empower them? To educate them? To provide for them?
And to normalize it for them?
Breastfeeding needs to become a big deal again so that it becomes “no big deal”.
It needs to become a big deal so that mothers can get on with the business of feeding their littles (and feeling empowered to do what they were designed to do) in whatever environment they feel comfortable with.
And it needs to become a big deal so that everyone else will let them, encourage them, and honor them as they do so.
Let’s not leave the breastfeeding endorsements to the “lactivists” or the La Leche League-ers or people from this or that category of parenting philosophies. We need “normal” moms everywhere to help push this issue into the light… even more than it already is.
Dear friends, what do you think? Should we be making breastfeeding a big deal? Or is it a “shrug your shoulders” sort of an issue for you? Why?
P.S. You guys are amazing. AMAZING. As of May 10, 2012 we are up to 2446 clean birth kits donated and being made/sent to us. (This tally doesn’t even include all those who have emailed saying that kits are on the way without telling me how many.) Talk about a Happy Mothers Day!!! Thank you for being so awesome and for getting involved in this important issue by helping mamas and babies in the developing world. (Need more info? Here’s your place.)
44 Comments
Dr. Rupe
9 May 2012 at 11:00 pmAmen sister!!!!! Great post!
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Adriel Booker
9 May 2012 at 11:58 pmThank you Dr. Rupe.
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Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
9 May 2012 at 11:25 pmI love this! What a compassionate call for action.
Adriel Booker
9 May 2012 at 11:56 pmThank you Dionna. I hadn’t thought of it in those terms – a compassionate call to action – but that is exactly what I hoped would come across. Appreciate your feedback.
Adriel Booker recently posted..who’s the expert, anyway? | the struggle between parenting books and trusting yourself
Our Muddy Boots
9 May 2012 at 11:42 pmVery nicely said Adriel. We do need to make breastfeeding normal again also so that every new mom has accesses to resources and support- not just those of us who know to ask for them.
This is an important piece and I am grateful that you wrote it.
Adriel Booker
9 May 2012 at 11:58 pmyes, that’s true isn’t it? we need education and access ESPECIALLY for moms who wouldn’t otherwise know how to ask. great point. it’s all out there – just a matter of connecting people to resources, right?
Adriel Booker recently posted..bloggers for birth kits: helping moms in developing nations by reducing maternal mortality
Lindsy Griffis
10 May 2012 at 12:50 amAmen! So very very true. We all eat to live – why must this form of eating be so controversial?? Why must this absolutely natural part of motherhood be deemed “inappropriate”? Ridiculous. Thank you for this reminder! Very well said.
Lindsy Griffis recently posted..Baby #2 :: 32 weeks
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:36 pmYes, it’s very hard for me to understand why it’s considered controversial. Truly, I just don’t get it. 🙁
Adriel Booker recently posted..5 meaningful mothers day gifts under $15
Sushi Mama
10 May 2012 at 1:29 amI was a little bit uncomfortable talking about breastfeeding until I had Emersyn last Friday, now I just see it as her source of nourishment. I’ve been blessed with a lot of encouragement, and so far, an easy nurser, but without those it would be very very hard, so it’s important to get the word out!
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:39 pmCongratulations on your little Emersyn! That’s wonderful. 🙂
I’m so glad you have had an “easy” experience so far. I know that’s not the case for everyone.
Hope you’re enjoying your newborn snuggles!! They are just divine. xo
Adriel Booker recently posted..who’s the expert, anyway? | the struggle between parenting books and trusting yourself
InBabyAttachMode
10 May 2012 at 3:06 amGood post! I look at it like you use your breasts for breastfeeding just like you use your legs for walking. No one would sit in a wheelchair when it’s not necessary. To me breastfeeding is just on of those things that you do because you can.
InBabyAttachMode recently posted..Pumping milk at work – a technical report
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:40 pmI totally agree. And then there are ALL the other reasons too – nutrients, bonding, etc. So, so many reasons for it to be normal!
Adriel Booker recently posted..mother letters | will you remember her?
CJ
10 May 2012 at 3:09 amIn a few days we will hit 18 months! Woo hoo!!
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:40 pmglad it’s gone so well for you!
Adriel Booker recently posted..parenting to build relationships, not robots
Erin
10 May 2012 at 5:32 amI confess… I get squeamish about implying even in the gentlest way that “breast is best,” because I’m so loathe to make mothers who don’t breastfeed feel judged. But I did cheer when the AAP recently amended their recommendations to say that it’s not a lifestyle choice, but is in fact a medical issue. I like to think that I help “normalize” breastfeeding by talking about the challenges that I’ve had, which is my biggest problem with most “lactivists” – refusing to acknowledge that it could ever be hard. In my opinion that does not help women who want to breastfeed but hit a roadblock and give up.
Recently my mom was here to help with my new baby and she talked about some of the issues she had with breastfeeding me in 1978. Her parents’ generation was VERY anti-breastfeeding! Her mother and mother-in-law both gave her a hard time about it, forcing her to cover up with heavy blankets (even in private!) and sending her Dear Abby columns about how breastfed babies in Africa were dying of starvation (seriously!). It was so interesting to hear my own mother talk about her breastfeeding experience.
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Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:46 pmWow Erin. Times have certainly changed. How those old columns are erroneous! Babies in Africa are LIVING because of breastfeeding. Yes, they are still dying, but certainly not due to BFing. That’s just insane.
I’m so glad we have it easier than your mother’s generation. I suppose it varies by location too, as one lady who commented after you (see below) is referring to her experience when I was born (1977) and says that it was no big deal then too – everyone fed that way. Perhaps different social circles had different beliefs? Not sure.
I know what you mean about the “breast is best”. It is sensitive and always best to approach the conversation with grace. I do think sharing honestly – like you said – helps.
Thanks for your feedback. So interesting!
Adriel Booker recently posted..parenting to build relationships, not robots
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:50 pmp.s. I cheered at the AAP’s amendments too – such a good thing.
Raia
10 May 2012 at 6:47 amAgree! Great post. I am still breastfeeding my 18 month old daugter, in public too, if she wants : ). In the rural midwest, where I am from, breastfeeding moms tend to hide with their babies. My father-in-law will leave the room if I start feeding my daughter, either out of respect for me (I never ask him to…) or because it makes him uncomfortable. Where I live now, it’s much more accepted and I don’t feel like I have to hide to feed my baby. Breastfeeding is normal and nothing to be ashamed of or kept hidden in a back room.
I had great support and encouragement from my own family and I wish that every new mom could have access to that kind of help. All too often, I feel women who want to breastfeed are not given the support and information they need.
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:48 pmYes, so true. I’ve had really a really good environment to BF in as well, so it was never an issue. In fact, because it was so normal and accepted for me, it has blown me away to see how opposite it is/can be for many women. I suppose that’s what’s spurred me to be a bit passionate about this topic! I want all women to feel supported like I do!
Adriel Booker recently posted..who’s the expert, anyway? | the struggle between parenting books and trusting yourself
Jody Lee Collins
10 May 2012 at 9:54 amAgreed, Adriel. Great post. In the generation which you were born in (along with your cousins, and my son, to name a few other people you know) read “The 70’s”, it was No Big Deal. It was like why even talk about it ’cause it’s what you did.
Then a couple of generations passed and now it’s become a science, with specialists, and classes, and nurses…and sheesh! The focus is NOT on feeding children it’s on the moms, it’s all about them. I’m sorry being judgmental here. But that is my two cents.
I do sense a sea change with young moms like yourself and hope that the world will continue to spread to get things a right a gain.
Jody
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Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:57 pmThat’s so interesting Jody, because I’ve heard from a lot of women from your generation who were encouraged to formula feed. Perhaps it depended on the area of the country or the social circles you gathered in? Not sure, but interesting!
As for the specialists, classes, etc. I probably have a different perspective than you. I think those are all really important. If you look at the statistics of how many women start off trying BFing but then quit after a few days or weeks, then you can see there’s a big problem! They need to be prepared and educated about the process and know that it can be tough at first, but it does (usually!) get better!!! I think with more focus on educating and supporting women, there would be more who decide to give it a fair go and perhaps stick it out for the few weeks it takes for your breasts to adapt and your baby to learn how to latch properly.
I suppose it used to be that this type of information was passed down from generation to generation and naturally within the context of community. Sadly, that’s not the case any more so women need to find there education and support somewhere!! So I say yay for classes and lactation consultants and books and blogs helping women learn!
In saying that, it’s not all about mom. It’s about baby too. That’s a given!! 🙂
Appreciate your feedback!
Adriel Booker recently posted..parenting to build relationships, not robots
Laura
10 May 2012 at 11:02 amDefinitely a big deal! I firmly believe that breastfeeding needs to be normalized in our society. Women shouldn’t have to feel bad for nursing in public or even feel the need to cover up. For me it is less about “breast is best” and more about getting the public to accept breastfeeding as normal and healthy and positive.
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Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:57 pmYeah, I think it’s both.
Adriel Booker recently posted..mother letters | will you remember her?
Jessica
10 May 2012 at 11:30 amThis is a great post! Seriously. Breastfeeding is normal. It’s not disgusting or unnatural or wrong. It is normal. Not everyone can breastfeed but many can. I’m sharing this post now!!
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:58 pmthanks jessica
Megan @ boho mama
10 May 2012 at 12:59 pmExcellent. Thanks for writing this! I always have a hard time articulating my feelings about things that I feel very passionate about, and breastfeeding is one of those things. I worry I will come on to strong or aggressive and get my mouth running, when I really want to be encouraging and supportive and speak from a place of love. So I tend to stay on the quiet side. But you do it with grace and wisdom and I’m so glad!! I’m seriously contemplating becoming an LC, it’s a dream that’s kind of come out of left field, but isn’t that how God usually works? 😉
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 4:59 pmthanks megan. that’s encouraging feedback.
you’re a fabulous writer. i struggle to imagine you having a hard time articulating. give yourself a chance girl.
and YEAH, go for the LC dream. that’s super cool. xx
Adriel Booker recently posted..who’s the expert, anyway? | the struggle between parenting books and trusting yourself
Melissa
10 May 2012 at 2:08 pmI love this Adriel I read this post last year – Breastfeeding as worship!! loved it.. have a look http://www.sortacrunchy.net/sortacrunchy/2011/08/breastfeeding-as-worship.html#tpe-action-posted-6a00e54fb985aa883301676660443e970b
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Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 5:00 pmthanks mel. i love megan’s blog! i will have to read that post.
Adriel Booker recently posted..parenting to build relationships, not robots
Rachel J.
10 May 2012 at 2:53 pmWhenever I read news articles about incidents regarding breastfeeding in public, it makes me absolutely crazy to read some of the comments. There are people who actually believe it’s “vile and disgusting”. One comment I read had those exact words.
HUH???
I don’t know how anyone can have such an attitude toward nursing a baby. You’re absolutely right – it’s a HUGE deal!
Rachel J. recently posted..Feelings, Feelings, Feelings…And Perspective
Adriel Booker
10 May 2012 at 5:02 pmthat makes me beyond angry. 🙂 believe it or not, this is my response to a comment i read on a friend’s facebook page a couple of months ago. i refrained from the angry response… but doesn’t mean those emotions don’t lurk.
people are crazy. and most of them are either men or women who’ve never yet been mothers. *sigh*
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e wiebe
11 May 2012 at 12:05 amAmen sister! Breastfeeding is definitely not a “shrug-my shoulders, whatever makes you happy” issue! I agree that it is a huge deal. I don’t have kids yet, but breastfeeding is something that I am already passionate about. Thanks for your post.
Adriel Booker
11 May 2012 at 11:34 pmlove that you’re pre-kids and pro-breastfeeding. that’s an awesome kind of feminism right there. the best kind. 🙂
Katherine
11 May 2012 at 4:15 amThough the latest Time (U.S.) cover article appears to be about attachment parenting (which does not solely boil down to breastfeeding), this cover is surely going to get some conversations going!
http://www.time.com/time/covers/0,16641,20120521,00.html
I haven’t read the article but am eager to, the next time I am at the library.
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Adriel Booker
11 May 2012 at 11:33 pmwell, would you look at that. surely that will create a buzz!! i’ve seen this all over fb today too. will have to check it out!
Nessa
11 May 2012 at 1:17 pmClapping!! No one in my family or in my husbands family breast fed. I was born premature and sent to a children’s hospital and my mom wasn’t allowed because her milk wasn’t sterile. But still – even my own family thought it was something odd when my daughter was a year old and still breast feeding. ti should become something that people don’t look twice at. Normal, everyday occurrence – like giving your child a sippy cup. Boring. That is my dream.
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Adriel Booker
11 May 2012 at 11:32 pm“my mom wasn’t allowed because her milk wasn’t sterile” <--amazing! *shakes head* and yes, boring like a sippy cup! genius.
Charissa Steyn
12 May 2012 at 4:28 amso glad I found your blog! I love it 🙂 I’m gonna be a new mommy in September!! Would love to breastfeed!! Trusting that its not painful 🙂
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Adriel Booker
12 May 2012 at 11:10 pmCongratulations on your pregnancy Charissa! That’s wonderful. I hope you’re able to breastfeed and have some supportive people around you to help if you do end up with any challenges. It’s a beautiful thing!
Adriel Booker recently posted..parenting to build relationships, not robots
Tasha
12 May 2012 at 6:28 amThis is great! I am so passionate about breastfeeding too (I have been reading Kathy Dettwyler’s book….so fascinating!) but can credit my success at breastfeeding to having the best, most loving example and guidance from my own mother. If I’m honest with myself, I can get feeling so passionate about bfing that I become prideful. It’s humbling to realize how blessed I was to have that example set. My wish is for more loving, guiding, listening, good examples for future mommies. Breastfeeding is gloriously feminine and empowering, yet is also a servitude and the epitomy of a nurturing relationship (literally). Unfortunately, that is not necessarily valued in our society. With awareness, things can change!
Adriel Booker
12 May 2012 at 10:10 pmIt’s good that you can recognize when you become prideful. That certainly helps no one (as you know!). But I think it’s shows humility that you can even see that. 🙂
How lucky you are to have such a great example in your own mom, and I agree that things can change so that more women experience what you had.
LOVE this: “Breastfeeding is gloriously feminine and empowering, yet is also a servitude and the epitomy of a nurturing relationship (literally).” Beautiful, and thanks for sharing. x
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Santiago
22 February 2019 at 8:43 pmHi. The WHO and many other organizations recommend breastfeeding. Many of ther WHO growth charts were made taken measurements on breastfeeding children. Many of the websites that you can use to calculate your child’s percentile use those charts. There is no doubt that breastfeeding is much better for the baby, this is not something that will change over time.