12 Essentials for Your Twenties: Empowering Christian young people to Discover, Develop, Become, & Be (Part 1 of 2)

Today’s post is another (like the wildly popular one on singleness) that doesn’t exclusively apply to women. But in thinking about what to include in 31 Days of Women Empowering Women, it seemed like a good fit to share something that would (I hope) be empowering for my younger sisters in their own personal growth. These twelve points were originally my preaching notes from a sermon I gave to a group of young adults about six years ago. I had just celebrated my 30th birthday, and the message was born out of reflecting back on all I had learned during my Adventuring Twenties (which I loved!). I’ll run the post in two parts – you can read part two here.

12 Essentials for your 20's - Practical advice for Christian twenty-somethings.

She found me after the service and tugged on my cardigan. “I’ve always wanted to study Mandarin,” she confessed, sheepishly. “Do you think that’s strange?”

I smiled at her warmly and rested my hand on her shoulder. “No. I actually think it’s perfect,” I shot back with a wink.

“Your message gave me courage and I think it might be time for me to just do it,” she concluded.


I wonder how many young twenty-somethings sit in our pews like this sweet girl – full of hopes and interests and dreams and yet unsure how to put them all together and start living the grown-up life they think they see around them.

It’s like they’re waiting for permission to do what’s already on their heart. They’re waiting for permission to start living out their destiny.

My hard drive is full of teaching notes and sermons and lectures that I’ve prepared and delivered throughout the last fifteen years, mostly to young people in search of God and meaning and identity and calling. I came across this one the other day and I immediately remembered the young college-aged girl with a Mandarin dream who approached me after the service with tears in her eyes and a burning question on her heart.

Maybe like her you also need encouragement for where you’re at. This one’s for the young-uns, our twenty-something friends.

Here are twelve essentials for your twenties that will help you life your best life and set a good foundation for your future:

1. Discover God.

Don’t get overly wrapped up in doctrine as you question and seek; zero in on learning (and internalizing) who God says He is. We spend so much time listening to what other people say about him, but what we really need to learn is what he says about himself. (Start with Ex 34:6-7a.) Get familiar with his word and his voice. And if you’ve not learned how to recognize his voice yet, make listening your mission. Knowing his voice will change your life and everything about it in the best possible way. As we better understand his nature, character, and ways, we can more accurately discover how he is revealed around us, what his stance may be on particular issues, and how he wants to relate to us. But all of that needs to be discovered through an accurate filter of who he is.

2. Discover identity.

When you know you are somebody, you will quit wasting time trying to be somebody. “You died, and your life is now hidden with Christ” (Col 3:3). I like to think of this as me in a Jesus suit – like a space suit. I’m still completely me, but surrounding me is Jesus – the one who helps me to not only survive the elements, but thrive (“live, move, and have my being”). Discovering your identity has to do with identifying the false guises that you have lived under (or have been labeled) and seeking to find what God thinks about you. Knowing him (see above!) will help you to know yourself. And then knowing yourself will help you with #3, which is…

3. Discover calling.

Get into the Word and see what God has already said about our role as Christians on the earth. Corporate calling (why do we exist? what are we here for?) is more important than individual calling. Why? Because when you have a grip on the big picture, it becomes easy to use that as a filter for the smaller picture of your personal life. You simply use how God’s wired you (gifts, skills, personality, experiences) to further the big picture. The reality is that anything you do with your life can be used for God’s glory if your heart is in the right place. There is no “sacred” and “secular” when it comes to serving God; we are all a part of a “royal priesthood” (1 Pet 2:9) whose job it is to offer worship, connect people to God, and connect God to people. He needs pastors and plumbers that are working wholeheartedly on behalf of others.

4. Develop character.

Character development is a life-long process, but during young adulthood your character is being formed in a way that can set the tone for the rest of your life. Take the time to let your heart (and thoughts, words, and deeds) be shaped. It will open up doors for you; it will lead you into knowing your personal gifts and how to follow “the call” on your life; it will define your relationships; and it will become your greatest gift to offer others. King David spent long years herding sheep and slinging stones and dodging spears in obscurity, even after he had been anointed as king. But it was the shaping of his heart during those years that would set him up to be an incredible leader when the time came to walk into his most famous of roles – the most celebrated king in Israel’s history and a man known as being “after God’s own heart”.

5. Develop discipline.

Spiritual disciplines are a tool to help you access God. He is never inaccessible to us, but sometimes we struggle with getting over ourselves enough to access him. Spiritual disciplines aren’t meant to make us better people (although they will), they are meant to help us to connect with God. In other words, they are a means to connection, not an end in itself. For an example of how not to do this, just check out the New Testament Pharisees. (If you’d like to explore this topic in depth I highly recommend “Celebration of Discipline” by Richard Foster. It’s a modern day classic that should be on every Christian young person’s shelf.)

6. Develop your values.

Determine early on what matters most to you, write it down, and live by it. Look at Jesus’ life as an example, look at other godly people you trust, but most of all, take time before the Lord to really think these through for yourself. More than goals (which are always time-specific), your values (which are timeless) will guide you through major life decisions. Knowing God’s character (#1), knowing your identity (#2), and knowing your values (#6) are perhaps the three most important filters for your life when it comes to seeking God for direction or finding wisdom in decision-making.

#7-12 will be continued in part 2 tomorrow…

Dear friends, tomorrow I will post part 2 of 12 Essentials for Your Twenties – focusing on “become” and “be”. If you want a preview of what else I’ll be writing about, just check out the image above. 🙂 I hope you’ll come back and read the rest! In the meantime, if you are in your twenties, do any of these resonate with you? What do you hope most to get out of this decade? And if you are past your twenties, what life lessons would you pass down to your younger self?

Love, A



31 Days of Women Empowering Women at AdrielBooker.com


This post is part of a series called 31 Days of Women Empowering Women. See hundreds of incredible #31Days projects here.

About Author

Adriel Booker is an author, speaker, and advocate based in Sydney, Australia who believes storytelling, beauty, and the grace of God will change the world. Adriel has become a trusted voice in areas of motherhood and parenting, Christian spirituality, and global women's issues. She's also known for her work with the Love A Mama Collective—serving under-resourced women in developing nations through safe birth initiatives—as well as her years spent as a Bible teacher and leadership coach. Her latest book is Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss and she's made the companion grief journal available for free. Find Adriel across all social media platforms at @adrielbooker or sign up for LoveNotes, Adriel's 'secret posts' that aren't published anywhere else online. ✌️


  • […] 12 Essentials for Your Twenties: Practical advice for Christian 20-somethings Part 1 and Part 2 […]

  • Aprille @beautifulinhistime.com
    3 November 2013 at 10:25 am

    I read through both of these posts, and they are good. I guess where I struggle is that I married young (21), had kids young (23), so some of these things are harder to-do when you are thrust into parenting and marriage – trying to develop your identity, self-discipline, relationship with God – while being responsible for other people at the same time, wow, it’s a lot to handle!

    Good stuff though!
    Aprille @beautifulinhistime.com recently posted..Wrinkles (why I’m not writing a book right now) {takeaways from #allume}My Profile

    • Adriel
      14 November 2013 at 12:28 pm

      Aprille – indeed! Becoming a wife and parent young would bring a whole different set of challenges that I’m unfamiliar with! I definitely wrote this more targeting early 20-somethings who aren’t yet parents. In fact, when I preached the message initially it was to a bunch of single college students just entering their 20s. I have a few friends who were married young (as well as my parents) and they have all shared about different struggles of learning their identity (in particular) while already in those major roles of husband/wife/mom/dad. Most of them shared that they had to learn the same lessons, but in a very different way – along WITH their partners. I guess in some ways that could slow the process or speed the process, depending on a number of factors and also what your relationship with your spouse is like. I’ve seen young married couples be swept away in their roles without understanding their identity in God at all and later really struggle… and I’ve also seen young married couples really “find themselves” as they deliberately seek God during those young married years. But no doubt it’s a huge challenge that I’ll never fully understand!! Grace to you as you continue to grow where you’re at Aprille. xo
      Adriel recently posted..What’s the Big Deal About ‘Breastaurants’ Like Hooters?My Profile

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  • Esther Uwizeyimana
    18 February 2016 at 8:16 pm

    that really nice advise that can help christian
    we like to be loved by people and we end up doing something that we don’t believe in and we destroy our relationship with God and get people who seems to loves us but not. Jesus is the only one who loves us more than anyone . so let do what he want us to do

  • sara
    29 September 2017 at 4:49 pm

    im here because of sex… not me.. my roommate… i wish i was friends with ppl like me who would wait to have sex til theyre married.. but for them that seems impossible… im actually not tryna talk to her now cuz im just mad at her… cuz its was 1 in the freaking morning n u decide to have sex … n she just got finished i was down stairs in the lobby of our hall.. trying not to fall asleep… on the couch… i put on bewitched the show to keep me awake… my eyes were droopy and i kept rubbing them… next year i want a virgin roommate who gonna stay a virgin or somebody who dont plan on having sex… in our room… i feel like i had to leave out of our room for u to have sex… is disrespectful… idk how else to explain it … it just makes me mad… no sex in my room.. none… ppl already look at me crazy for being a virgin and staying like that til im married… idk y it bothers me still….

  • Milly M
    12 March 2018 at 11:23 pm

    Hey Adriel,

    Really love your posts!

    I’ve recently started a blog (I’m from the UK) for young people growing up as the millennial generation in a very much changed world and the issues that come with that. Also as a young Christian growing up in the UK in a location where sense of young adult community is low. Please do check if out if you can! https://millennialmortal.wordpress.com/

    Many thanks


  • Links i love #2 – yoursincerely_d💕
    12 October 2019 at 7:31 am

    […] has been on my saved offline page for a loong time and it’s by Adriel Booker and she shares Essentials for your twenties – I’m in my twenties and these are all helpful things i need to work on… Read the […]


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