A mother’s conflicted heart (and a home photo shoot blunder)

I’m right in the middle of that conflicted whirlwind of heart that mamas get from time to time.

[14|52: six months]

How I’m enjoying watching my baby grow up.

This age brings with it so many fun milestones… sitting up, little toofers, first foods, rolling around, scooting and crawling, arms stretching wide to be picked up…

“Mama” is coming soon. (If that one doesn’t melt you into a giant puddle, I don’t know what will.) It’s such a sweet, sweet age.

And yet at the same time, it’s bittersweet. My little baby is becoming less and less mine… and more and more theirs.

The way he relates to the world, to friends, to his daddy, to his big brother…

Clearly there is life beyond his mama.

I’m glad for that. I love to see his relationships budding.

But I’d be lying if I didn’t say at times I miss his total dependence on me.

Liberation and longing all at once – every mom knows that paradox of emotions.

So joyful to see my boy developing and hitting milestones as he should, signaling that everything is healthy and “right” in this little internal world. But sad that these baby days are so fleeting.

I still have time, time to hold him in my arms.

But my, oh my, that time is disappearing fast.

I can clearly see that wild longing in his eyes – to crawl, walk, run, go!

Happy six months to my baby.

And if you haven’t noticed by now, there is much evidence in these photos that he’s not sleeping through the night at the moment. You did see that most of the photos read “SIX MONHTS” right? Ha!

Yes, I’m severely sleep deprived. Still.

And no. No I didn’t even notice until after taking them, editing them, AND uploading them to facebook. Only then did my friends help me to notice. Ha!

But I love him. And I love these photos anyway. They’re very indicative of right where we’re both at these days.

Besides, they will give him something to snicker and chuckle about when he’s twelve… funny old mom.

Dear friends, how do you handle these conflicted emotions of motherhood?

P.S. You might remember a similar blunder with Levi’s Nine MOTHS photos?? You’d think I’d have learned by now….. *sigh* But just for fun, here’s my brown-eyed boy at six months. As gorgeous as these two are, clearly they look nothing alike!

 

six months: #14 of my 52 fotos project.
Linking in with other Project 52ers: Styleberry Blog and Courtney Kirkland.