A mother’s conflicted heart (and a home photo shoot blunder)

I’m right in the middle of that conflicted whirlwind of heart that mamas get from time to time.

baby blue eyes | the mommyhood memos

[14|52: six months]

How I’m enjoying watching my baby grow up.

baby six months old

This age brings with it so many fun milestones… sitting up, little toofers, first foods, rolling around, scooting and crawling, arms stretching wide to be picked up…

baby six months old blue eyes

“Mama” is coming soon. (If that one doesn’t melt you into a giant puddle, I don’t know what will.) It’s such a sweet, sweet age.

blue eyed baby with green background

And yet at the same time, it’s bittersweet. My little baby is becoming less and less mine… and more and more theirs.

six month old baby home photo shoot

The way he relates to the world, to friends, to his daddy, to his big brother…

smiling baby six months old

Clearly there is life beyond his mama.

six month on baby chomping on a block

I’m glad for that. I love to see his relationships budding.

blue eyed six month old baby

But I’d be lying if I didn’t say at times I miss his total dependence on me.

six month old baby with blue eyes funny expression

Liberation and longing all at once – every mom knows that paradox of emotions.

six months old

So joyful to see my boy developing and hitting milestones as he should, signaling that everything is healthy and “right” in this little internal world. But sad that these baby days are so fleeting.

baby blue eyes six month old

I still have time, time to hold him in my arms.

six month old baby black and white image

But my, oh my, that time is disappearing fast.

six month old baby and blocks

I can clearly see that wild longing in his eyes – to crawl, walk, run, go!

super cute blue eyed baby six months old

Happy six months to my baby.

six months spelled wrong

And if you haven’t noticed by now, there is much evidence in these photos that he’s not sleeping through the night at the moment. You did see that most of the photos read “SIX MONHTS” right? Ha!

Yes, I’m severely sleep deprived. Still.

And no. No I didn’t even notice until after taking them, editing them, AND uploading them to facebook. Only then did my friends help me to notice. Ha!

six month old baby boy playing with blocks

But I love him. And I love these photos anyway. They’re very indicative of right where we’re both at these days.

Besides, they will give him something to snicker and chuckle about when he’s twelve… funny old mom.

Dear friends, how do you handle these conflicted emotions of motherhood?

P.S. You might remember a similar blunder with Levi’s Nine MOTHS photos?? You’d think I’d have learned by now….. *sigh* But just for fun, here’s my brown-eyed boy at six months. As gorgeous as these two are, clearly they look nothing alike!

six month old brown eyed boy


six months: #14 of my 52 fotos project.
Linking in with other Project 52ers: Styleberry Blog and Courtney Kirkland.

About Author

Adriel Booker is an author, speaker, and advocate based in Sydney, Australia who believes storytelling, beauty, and the grace of God will change the world. Adriel has become a trusted voice in areas of motherhood and parenting, Christian spirituality, and global women's issues. She's also known for her work with the Love A Mama Collective—serving under-resourced women in developing nations through safe birth initiatives—as well as her years spent as a Bible teacher and leadership coach. Her latest book is Grace Like Scarlett: Grieving with Hope after Miscarriage and Loss and she's made the companion grief journal available for free. Find Adriel across all social media platforms at @adrielbooker or sign up for LoveNotes, Adriel's 'secret posts' that aren't published anywhere else online. ✌️


  • Rachel J.
    11 April 2012 at 1:32 am

    Hehe…you poor thing! I hope you get some sleep soon. But actually, it doesn’t look so much like a blunder…more like it was playfully done on purpose, like he stacked those blocks and he’s just a baby so of course it’s misspelled. It’s cute! (And a great excuse too, don’t you think?) 🙂

    And his facial expressions are fantastic…I can see how you were just too focused on those to notice. Great shots!
    Rachel J. recently posted..Sacrificial LoveMy Profile

  • Tory
    11 April 2012 at 2:20 am

    What adorable pictures! I had no idea about the spelling on “months” until the very last picture when you mentioned it 🙂 … The pictures are what counts, Mama. You are doing a spectacular job!

    Tory recently posted..Easter Weekend Recap {Sledding!!!}My Profile

    • Adriel @ The Memos
      11 April 2012 at 9:53 pm

      ha! yeah, i totally didn’t notice either. even after two friends alluded to it… i had no idea what they were talking about! (and that was after shooting, editing them, etc!!) it wasn’t until a third friend blatantly (but politely) pointed out the spelling that i could even see it. (one of my closest friends… loving the opportunity to tease me.) ha ha!
      Adriel @ The Memos recently posted..the practice of being present by baking cakes and playing chaseMy Profile

  • Amy
    11 April 2012 at 4:32 am

    Absolutely love the pictures, and even the misspelling!! I didn’t notice it until you pointed it out, but then again, I am sleep deprived, too. 🙂 He is a doll!!

  • Nessa
    11 April 2012 at 6:42 am

    Happy 1/2 birthday! I love these photos… and especially the misspell. Screams real lifemommyhood load and clear.
    Nessa recently posted..EasterMy Profile

  • Crystal
    12 April 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Just wanted to say hi and that I love your blog – so much that I have added you to my “Blogging Friends” page as one of my must read blogs 🙂

  • Alicia
    13 April 2012 at 1:14 am

    Such wonderful photos of your little man, I think I’d blow some of them up…{as in get a big poster size of them} to have on your wall, even with the mis spelling, they are just amazing photos!! To be honest I didn’t even notice the mis spelling till you mentioned it at the end of the post. 🙂 Hope you get some sleep…….
    Alicia recently posted..From the mouth of babesMy Profile

  • Adrienne
    14 April 2012 at 1:33 am

    Your pictures are amazing! It is so hard when they start to pull away and interested other people. Sniffle sniffle…
    Adrienne recently posted..Love thy neighbor’s phone.My Profile

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  • Vaibhav Chalke
    24 April 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Adriel Booker, there is no joy in this world as good as seeing your child grow up. That is infact the greatest joy. I completely understand your sentiments when you mention it here in the blog. Lovely pictures of your kid. Hope you enjoy every stage of the child’s growth.


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