For mothers who have lost a child—born or unborn;
For mamas holding a sick child, daring to wonder how much time you have left;
For women who have yearned for a child and have been unable to conceive;
For women who long to be married and start a family yet remain waiting;
For those who want to adopt but haven’t yet seen that dream become reality;
For those who needed to let someone else care for their child and had to say goodbye;
For single moms of young kids who are too young to know how to express appreciation as she deserves;
For those enduring the emotional and physical turmoil of fertility treatments and IVF;
For mothers who are deployed and far away from their babies;
For mothers caught in a brutal custody battle:
I see you this Mother’s Day. I hold your heart in mine and ask for God’s grace to find you.
For those who never knew their mother;
For those who had a mother walk out on them;
For those who had a mother who was there but not there;
For those who have lost a mother;
For those who have lost a close grandmother or a mother-figure:
I see you this Mother’s Day. I hold your heart in mine and ask for God’s grace to find you.
May you be comforted in your loss or in your longing.
May your eyes be opened to those you have “mothered” through your love and care and nurturing, whether children have filled your home or not.
And may you be met with sweet memories of the special women in your own life who are as mothers to you, even if your own is gone.
Mothers and mother figures everywhere are deserving of our honor:
Hopeful mothers. Burdened mothers. Accidental mothers. Bereaved mothers. Invisible mothers. Bonus mothers. Motherless mothers. Grateful mothers. Grandmothers. New mothers. Weary mothers. Spiritual mothers. And all the women holding the paradox of joy and sorrow with or without your own mothers.
You are appreciated and I hope there’s someone in your life to help you know it this Mother’s Day.
To those who have lost or are longing:
I see you this Mother’s Day. I hold your heart in mine and ask for God’s grace to find you.
With Love,
Adriel
© 2011 Adriel McIntosh Booker. Please do not reproduce or modify without written permission.
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43 Comments
Eleanor Alexander
8 May 2011 at 2:35 pmThat's a really beautiful post Adriel
alison
8 May 2011 at 5:42 pmit's funny that i am reading this post right now because it's what i've been thinking about all day today. it's also what our pastor spoke about in his sermon. he knows from personal experience since he and his wife were never able to have children. i think that we should always be aware and sensitive to the feelings of others in all situations. my prayer is that all women will feel honored and blessed today…not just the mommies!
Anonymous
8 May 2011 at 10:17 pmi recognize that photo!! good message, Adriel. thank you.
Linda
16 August 2016 at 10:19 amIf Mothers Day is so hurtful, they should ban it completely!
Adriel Booker
12 May 2017 at 2:50 pmHi Linda. I think Mother’s Day is wonderful and motherhood should be celebrated for the gift that it is. It seems to me we should be able to acknowledge the moms among us and celebrate them and honor the hard work of mothering, while also acknowledging that it is a sensitive time for many women. Why do those things need to be at odds? x
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JIll
9 May 2011 at 12:58 amOh, Adriel this was perfect. I have a college roommate that has recently lost her unborn child. I was not sure how to address today being mother's day. Your post was perfect, infact I forward it to her with my happy mother's day wish. I was still uncertain how it would be taken, and I was really relived to find out that she was very greatful for my wish and it has opened the door for others to wish her a happy Mother's Day. I hope that it will help her in her healing. Thank you so much for this post.
Adriel Booker
9 May 2011 at 12:26 pmThank you for your comments and emails. It’s reinforced from the pageview (high) to comment (low) ratio that this is a very sensitive subject. If you prefer to email me privately with your response or feedback, I can be reached at hello @ adrielbooker . com
Big hugs to all. XO
Getrealmommy
9 May 2011 at 3:13 amI have a friend who after many, many years of fertility treatments had her final round of invitro fail this weekend. Heartbreaking. So many women struggle with infertility, or never have their dreams of motherhood realized. I myself went through some infertility issues, and I am always very open to speak about them. I think we need to make it less of a taboo topic. These women deserve to be honored as well!
rachael
9 May 2011 at 6:41 pmI had a young child ask me on Mother's Day several years ago if I was a mom. My answer: "Yes, I just haven't had my kids yet."
ababynanny.com
10 May 2011 at 1:23 amWow, you are so amazing. I almost teared up… I had a mom who was there but not there… and I lost it a bit on Sunday with the whole wanting to be married and a mom but still waiting thing… but I was blessed to feel so close to God and know that I'm SO lucky…
LoveLife
11 May 2011 at 8:56 pmSuch a great post… Thank you for talking about this! I've spent 4 years as a Mommy. The first year, I was so overwhelmed I barely paid attention to my own mother, the second year was better, I remembered to honour her and got some special treatment myself too, the third Mother's Day was a complete blur with a newborn in the house, and this year I had a lovely day and found my own mother a special gift. But some of these other people you talk about in your post were with me in my thoughts, and I didn't really know how to navigate 'Mother's Day' with them. Your post has showed me a way I might share the day with anyone, even those who we are afraid of hurting by shining a light on their struggles or sadness. Of course, it needs to be approached delicately and with sensitivity, but I think avoiding it (as I did with my neighbour…who delivered my baby but never had children herself, and my friend, whose mother died young) is far more awkward.
holy flippin moly. it sure was a wild ride. « The Mommyhood Memos
30 December 2011 at 1:12 pm[…] in honor of Mothers Day, and knowing that it’s not always a happy day, I wrote a post for women who have lost or are longing. And finally, based on my experience as a “single mom” for the month, I wrote about 10 […]
Alison
13 May 2012 at 8:11 pmHi, I googled “mothers day to those who have lost” and I found this page. Such a fitting post as I know so many who have lost children & mothers over the last few years.
2012 – a year on your post still being read! 🙂
Adriel Booker
14 May 2012 at 11:04 pmoh, thanks for letting me know alison. it’s hard. i’m glad this post is still encouraging a few women, even a year later. happy mama’s day to you. xo
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Agnieszka J.
12 May 2013 at 4:05 pmHello Adriel,
This is not a comment, it’s a request and I’m hoping you’ll say “yes” to it. I would like to ask for your permission to share for Mother’s day “To you all of you, I want to say Happy Mothers Day as well.”
What you wrote is really beautiful.
Thank you,
Agnieszka J.
Agnieszka J.
12 May 2013 at 4:11 pmI forgot to mention that I wanted to share this on Facebook.
Adriel
12 May 2013 at 5:59 pmHi there Agnieszka. You mean you’d like to share the link to this post on facebook? Yes, of course you can. xo
Adriel recently posted..Happy Mother’s Day to you, “perfect” mom. (Yeah, that’s you.)
Happy Mother's Day to you, "perfect" mom. (Yeah, that's you.)
12 May 2013 at 7:59 pm[…] for those who find Mother’s Day difficult, I wrote this letter for you: Mother’s Day for those who have lost or are longing. Please know that we remember you and believe you deserve to be celebrated, […]
Judith
13 May 2013 at 1:44 amI found this perfect page after searching for “mother’s day for women who almost were mothers. Thank you so much. I hope you don’t mind that I posted the link to this page on facebook. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Adriel.
Adriel
15 July 2013 at 3:09 pmI Judith, I’m so glad you found something in my words and sentiments that you found helpful. Bless you, dear one! x
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Mer
12 June 2014 at 4:24 pmI’d like to adapt this for a meditation for a Father’s Day I’m planning. Would that be alright? If so how would you like it to be credited?
Adriel
12 June 2014 at 5:45 pmWhat a beautiful idea Mer! And thank you for asking.
Will it be an oral presentation or something you’d like to post online?
Mer
12 June 2014 at 6:01 pmIt will be an oral presentation during a church service, but I could email the adaptation to you if you’d like.
Adriel
12 June 2014 at 8:10 pmSounds great. I’m happy for you to just say you modified your meditation from a blog post written by Adriel Booker. That’s absolutely enough! 🙂
And yes, I’d love to see the adaptation you make – not because I want to “approve” it by any means, but because I think I’d be inspired by it! Sounds wonderful. Thanks Mer. Have a beautiful service!
Leslie
14 April 2015 at 9:52 amBeautifully said~
Karen
6 March 2016 at 7:53 pmThank you for writing this
Adriel Booker
31 March 2016 at 1:06 pmGod bless you Karen. x
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Maria
11 August 2020 at 10:49 pmHello im.new to this page. I have no idea what to say for a mother who lost a,son 3 weeks aho for Mothers Day.Any ideas?
In my country on Saturday we celebrate Mothers Day. For many moms abd family it be a happy day but for a,lady im stsrting to know it be sad cause she lost her son 3 weeks aho and the young age of 47. She could still be grieving but I dont know.
I want to text this lady a nice message even if it be a,sad day cause im sure she will remembering it is Mothers Day but she has no don now. She has 2 other sons though.
I dont know the woman a,lot we are not like best friends just casual acquaintances.The thing is that I did know her son.
I just spoke on the phone to this lady for the first time after his son died we never knew each other before in person. not even physically.
So what kind of heartfell nice message to give this woman on Mothers Day knowing that she could be sad on her special day? I want to cheer her up a little even if she be sad.
Thanks.
Kelly
23 April 2016 at 5:57 amI would also add stepmoms to the list. They do all the work of a mom, but don’t get to spend mother’s day with the child and get none of the appreciation.
Adriel Booker
23 April 2016 at 12:05 pmThanks Kelly, absolutely! Appreciate your insight.
Not sure if you’re a stepmom or not, but if so I hope your husband/partner does something this year Mother’s Day to help the kids recognize your contribution to their life. Maybe a friend of yours has the type of relationship where they can drop a subtle hint to him??
Helen Carter
7 May 2016 at 12:36 amI hope you don’t mind I have taken this and posted it on my Facebook page. I have given you credit. If you do I will remove it but it speaks to so many women within my church who will be suffering this Mother’s day. My mother has been passed now for over 22 years and I still feel the lose each and every day. Many of the women in our church not only have lost mothers but have either never married or have remained childless after many years of attempting to conceive. Some have even lost babies. Thank you for this beautiful expression of love and understanding.
Adriel Booker
9 May 2016 at 10:30 amOf course Helen. Thank you for your heart and concern to others. I hope this little piece can be an encouragement to those in your circle that may head into Mother’s Day with mixed emotions. May God bless you.
Rojo99
7 May 2016 at 2:55 amMother’s day is a day for anyone who has filled that void in a child’s life! Stop making women and men feel like you must be 21 to 30 to enjoy this great day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rubin
8 May 2016 at 11:01 amThe post for Mother’s Day for those who have lost or longing is beautiful.
Thank you.
Adriel Booker
9 May 2016 at 10:31 amYou’re so welcome Rubin. x
Rick Patterson
9 May 2016 at 12:31 amBeautiful and touching – I posted this on my Facebook page, along with a link to your website. I’ve been feeling for all of those you mentioned there, and have seen them post sad messages on their timelines. I hope this makes their day a little better.
Adriel Booker
9 May 2016 at 10:31 amThank you Rick. I hope so too.
Jacob
12 May 2019 at 4:10 pmThis subject has been on my heart as we head into this lovely Mother’s Day 2019, I hope you will allow me to speak your words of passion and encouragement tomorrow during a small moment of the mother’s day service, all credit belonging to you of course! Amazing to see you’ve allowed HIM to speak through you, many years ago but still true today, words of encouragement to many on this day!!
Adriel Booker
25 May 2019 at 7:23 pmHi Jacob. I’m sorry I missed your comment and question until now. I hope you went ahead and read this in your service. Of course you are welcome. Bless you.
María
12 August 2020 at 1:08 amGood morning. I need to text a mother who lost a son just 3 weeks ago but I dont know what word of encouragements say. This situation is peculiar. The text I want to text is to wish this mother Happy Mothers Day as in the country I live next weekend is Mothers Day but given the circumstances of her current situation now, it can be a sad day for this lady to celebrate Mothers Day when she lost 3 weeks ago a son. The son died at the young age of 47 tragically and unexpected. The lady though has other 2 sons. I onlky knew the son who died, I dont know her other sons. Also in person I dont know this lady physically I just spoke over the phone with her once and for the first time a few days after her son died. So we are not like friends the only link we have is that I knew her son but I never met her in person when her son was alive. But out of sympathy and cause I knew her son is the reason we spoke on the phone a few days later but also we spoke over the phone cause I mailed her and her family a flower condolences to her house so she thanked me for it and that is why we spoke on the phone for the first time. She even had invited me over to her house in the future to meet me.
So now I want to text her and tell her Happy Mothers Day but probably it wont be a happy day for her butu I want to comfort her on this day too and cheer her up a little bit. So what words or phrases to use so I can tell her.
Thanks for any ideas you may have.
Adriel Booker
6 May 2021 at 11:41 pmI would say something like, “I’m thinking of you this Mother’s Day. I know _____ would have sent his love and told you what a great mom you were to him.”
Something like that. So kind of you to think of her.
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Iva
9 May 2021 at 10:12 pmI came upon this reading and It’s a lovely tribute especially today, Mother’s Day…
I hope it’s ok, I posted the link so others can read it too…
Adriel Booker
18 May 2021 at 4:46 pmOf course. I hope you had a gentle day.