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Happy Mother’s Day to you, “perfect” mom. (Yeah, that’s you.)

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Happy Mothers Day to you, perfect mom.

I wanted to write something beautiful and meaningful for Mother’s Day this year. I certainly have enough emotive material at the moment to work with: two gorgeous boys whom I adore that are surprising me, making me proud, and amazing me every single day, a conviction and passion to help under-resourced moms in poverty through simple but amazing innovation (the Sunshine Project), and the recent loss of our daughter, Scarlett Grace, and the burden for other moms who’ve lost babies that has been born in my heart.

But the words just aren’t there.

I don’t have a good reason to explain why there’s a lack of inspiration. Usually, as currents race and the tide rises I have more creative energy than ever to write. Maybe it’s just that I’ve put too much pressure on myself to always have something really impacting or insightful or at least helpful to say.

You’ll not be surprised when I say I don’t, right? Sometimes I just don’t have much to say at all, you know? And you can relate, right? Right??

I’m thinking that it won’t catch you off guard when I tell you that I stayed up too late last night because I was desperate for some alone time. You’ll probably empathize with me when I tell you that I took Judah out to dinner last week in a diaper, shirt, and bike helmet because the fight to dress him “properly” was beyond my capacity that day. Maybe you won’t even wince when I tell you that a few days ago I had to apologize to Levi four separate times for things like yelling or using an unkind tone.

Sometimes, the reality is, I just don’t love all that well.

Two toddlers in carseats

And that’s life. All of that mess mixed up with the beauty and wonder and growth that comes along with loving and discipling littles. These tiny people who infuriate me, push buttons that I never knew existed, and spur me to second guess, doubt, and question myself every single day… are the same tiny people who have shown me my capacity to love people to their very core, strengthened my faith in a world that’s filled with both heartache and goodness, and given me glimpses of a woman stronger than I ever imagined could possibly be walking in this skin.

So, as Mother’s Day approaches this weekend I want to say that—despite the mess—I’m glad to be a mom – incredibly grateful, in fact. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it is my absolutely favorite role in life. And I want to declare to the world (really, I’m declaring this to myself) that I am strong enough, capable enough, smart enough, kind enough, creative enough, loving enough, wise enough, determined enough, and humble enough to be the best mom my kids could ever need or want… even on the hardest of days.

I am enough.

Guess what friends? So are you.

We may not be the perfect mothers, but we are the perfect mothers for our children.

We may not be perfect mothers, but we are the perfect mothers for our children.

In light of that I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to you, friends. I hope you feel adored and appreciated and valued and honored. I hope you know how perfect you are for your children. And seriously, I pray your littles will cut you some slack for a few hours on Sunday as well. May you get to sleep in past 7:00am, finish your coffee while it’s still hot, and have some respite from breaking up fights, stepping on legos, and swimming in loads of grass-stained laundry.

You’re kinda amazing and you deserve to be celebrated.

And for those who find Mother’s Day difficult, I wrote this letter for you: Mother’s Day for those who have lost or are longing. Please know that we remember you and believe you deserve to be celebrated, too.

Love,
A

p.s. I guess I didn’t actually have “nothing to say”… just needed to start writing to figure that out. Typical. Love you girls. xo

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  • Reply Aupair 4 July 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Hi Adriel, this is the very first time l have visited your blog. The topic drew me in because we all have mothers who we love or loved and some of us are lucky enough to still have our mums here with us. We recently celebrated my mums 60th birthday and it suddenly dawned on me that my mum is getting older. I have always found it difficult to “say” how special my mum (and my dad for that matter) are and how much l love them, but for some strange reason l am quite comfortable writing these things in a card. It is strange.. l know, anyways your post was very honest and highlighted that no parent, be it mum or dad is always perfect, but what matters is we do the absolute best we can and we always have our childrens best interests at heart. We all become a little tired, worn out and frustrated from time to time, so it is unavoidable to be perfect all the time. My mum and my dad also had their bad days, but never did it result in anything worse than an angry tone or the occasional smack on the butt (for being naughty) and l love them so very much…… My partner and l try to raise our kids the best way we know how and sometimes they might not like it but we are sure they love us today and they will love us tomorrow and hopefully will love us for being their mum and dad for a very very long time to come.

    Nice post, l shall visit again and look forward to reading much more

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