I wanted to write something beautiful and meaningful for Mother’s Day this year. I certainly have enough emotive material at the moment to work with: two gorgeous boys whom I adore that are surprising me, making me proud, and amazing me every single day, a conviction and passion to help under-resourced moms in poverty through simple but amazing innovation (the Sunshine Project), and the recent loss of our daughter, Scarlett Grace, and the burden for other moms who’ve lost babies that has been born in my heart.
But the words just aren’t there.
I don’t have a good reason to explain why there’s a lack of inspiration. Usually, as currents race and the tide rises I have more creative energy than ever to write. Maybe it’s just that I’ve put too much pressure on myself to always have something really impacting or insightful or at least helpful to say.
You’ll not be surprised when I say I don’t, right? Sometimes I just don’t have much to say at all, you know? And you can relate, right? Right??
I’m thinking that it won’t catch you off guard when I tell you that I stayed up too late last night because I was desperate for some alone time. You’ll probably empathize with me when I tell you that I took Judah out to dinner last week in a diaper, shirt, and bike helmet because the fight to dress him “properly” was beyond my capacity that day. Maybe you won’t even wince when I tell you that a few days ago I had to apologize to Levi four separate times for things like yelling or using an unkind tone.
Sometimes, the reality is, I just don’t love all that well.
And that’s life. All of that mess mixed up with the beauty and wonder and growth that comes along with loving and discipling littles. These tiny people who infuriate me, push buttons that I never knew existed, and spur me to second guess, doubt, and question myself every single day… are the same tiny people who have shown me my capacity to love people to their very core, strengthened my faith in a world that’s filled with both heartache and goodness, and given me glimpses of a woman stronger than I ever imagined could possibly be walking in this skin.
So, as Mother’s Day approaches this weekend I want to say that—despite the mess—I’m glad to be a mom – incredibly grateful, in fact. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it is my absolutely favorite role in life. And I want to declare to the world (really, I’m declaring this to myself) that I am strong enough, capable enough, smart enough, kind enough, creative enough, loving enough, wise enough, determined enough, and humble enough to be the best mom my kids could ever need or want… even on the hardest of days.
I am enough.
Guess what friends? So are you.
We may not be the perfect mothers, but we are the perfect mothers for our children.
In light of that I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to you, friends. I hope you feel adored and appreciated and valued and honored. I hope you know how perfect you are for your children. And seriously, I pray your littles will cut you some slack for a few hours on Sunday as well. May you get to sleep in past 7:00am, finish your coffee while it’s still hot, and have some respite from breaking up fights, stepping on legos, and swimming in loads of grass-stained laundry.
You’re kinda amazing and you deserve to be celebrated.
And for those who find Mother’s Day difficult, I wrote this letter for you: Mother’s Day for those who have lost or are longing. Please know that we remember you and believe you deserve to be celebrated, too.
p.s. I guess I didn’t actually have “nothing to say”… just needed to start writing to figure that out. Typical. Love you girls. xo